


The Problem With Sea Witches and Big Mouths

by Walkerbaby



Series: HAMILTON SHORT STORIES AND ONE SHOTS [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack Fic, Historical AU, M/M, Tentacles, never piss off a sea witch, this is cracked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:13:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11754735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walkerbaby/pseuds/Walkerbaby
Summary: Alexander never knows when to shut up. Especially when he's with Caleb Brewster. A sea witch sets him straight.





	The Problem With Sea Witches and Big Mouths

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Jesus I have never written tentacle fic so this may be a very hot mess.  
> One of the tumblr one shots

George stared at his aide de camp. “What the hell did you do?” 

Alexander stared at him, his eyes wide. “It wasn’t my fault.” 

George just raised his eyebrows at the other man. Somehow he was pretty sure that Alex was lying. Men didn’t suddenly end up with their hands replaced with the tentacles of a sea creature unless they’d done something. 

“There was this woman on the bay and she had a basket of fish. And she kept singing and as she sang the fish would jump into her basket.” 

Witchcraft. That would explain the… 

“And Brewster suggested that we should ask her for fish to feed the troops. Or even to just teach us her song so that we could fish for ourselves,” Alex continued. 

“Does Brewster have tentacles too?” George asked. 

Alex didn’t meet his eyes. “I didn’t expect the woman to think we were meddling in witchcraft and curse us!” 

“She cursed you?” George asked. 

Alex held his hands up, the tentacles waving. “This isn’t a blessing George! How am I supposed to write like this? You have a mountain of correspondence and—” 

George stood and made his way to the front of the tent. He opened the flap and looked at one of his guards. “Go to the tents and get the witch Peg Grady. Tell her we have two cursed men and I’d have her counsel.” 

He turned to his aide and motioned to the fire. “Go and sit. I’ll bring you a bucket.” 

“A bucket?” 

“If she’s cursed you with fish skin we’ll need to keep your hands wet. Otherwise any damage you might sustain will result in damage to your fingers when they return.” 

“You think Peg will be able to return my hands to me?” 

George swallowed. He didn’t know enough of curses to answer but he certainly hoped his aide wouldn’t be hindered by tentacles for the rest of his life. 

“What happened to Brewster?” George asked. 

Alex ducked his head again. 

“Alexander.” 

“He has a tail,” Alex muttered. 

“A tail?” 

“Like a merman,” Alex explained. “I had to leave him at the shore. Before I came to your tent I went to see Tallmadge. He sent a guard to protect Brewster until Anna Strong could find a way to break the curse.” 

“Hmmm.” George nodded. 

They sat, staring at each other, unsure what to say, until Peg Grady had come. 

She took one look at his fingers and raised an eyebrow. “A fine mess you have here,” she muttered and then focused on his fingers again. She muttered a few words and George, his own magic limited as it was, could see glowing green strands of sea magic encircling Alex’s wrists. They were already beginning to dim. 

“Ahhh, it’s a short curse,” Peg muttered. “A day at most and then it’ll fade. You’ll just have to be patient until then.” 

“And then I’ll get my hands back?” Alex asked, hopeful. 

“Aye, you’ll get your hands back, and hopefully learn to not do whatever you did to anger that sea witch. The next one might not be so generous with her curses.” 

“All I did was ask if she could sell us some fish.” 

Peg raised an eyebrow. 

“And when she refused,” Alex muttered, “Brewster may have suggested that if she didn’t sell it to us we would commandeer them.” 

“You threatened to steal from a woman whose singing made fish jump into her basket?” George glared at his aide. 

“It wasn’t me!” Alex muttered. “Blame Brewster and his stupid fish tail.” 

“Well and then he’ll be suffering for it as well,” Peg said and then stood. “There’s nothing to be done but wait it out.” 

She let herself out of the tent and then George stared at Alexander. Of all the foolish things the boy could have done, he’d gone and tangled with a Tory witch. 

“So.” Alexander sighed. “What should we do now?” 

George raised an eyebrow. “I will do paperwork and you will sit and keep your tentacles in that bucket so they stay moist.” 

“That’s boring,” Alex answered. “This is boring.” 

George shook his head. “Fingers in the bucket.” 

He turned back to his troop requisitions and tried to focus. Soon a shadow fell over his papers and he looked up to see Alex standing beside his desk. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m bored.” Alex wiggled between George and the desk and sat down on his knee. 

“Alexander.” George’s voice was low with warning. 

“George.” Alex replied, mocking. 

“The camp is still active,” George muttered. 

“Yes but no one will come in and bother you while you’re dealing with an enchanted aide de camp,” Alex whispered sliding one of his tentacled hands against George’s waistcoat. 

A tentacle slipped around the buttons of his breeches and began working them free. 

“You are—” 

The tentacles of Alex’s right hand slipped into his small clothes and wrapped around George’s cock, pulsing against his skin. 

“Alexander,” he managed to choke out. 

“Peg said we have to wait it out,” Alex whispered as he began to stroke, the tentacles massaging George’s cock, milking him to full hardness. “And you can’t claim you aren’t even the slightest bit curious.” 


End file.
